Moving abroad without burning out
- The International
- 7 days ago
- 4 min read
A somatic nervous system approach.
Photographs: Unsplash
Text: Fiona L Smith
Moving to a new country is exciting, but it can also be overwhelming - even if you’ve done it before. The uncertainty, cultural shifts, and practical tasks like setting up a bank account or organising childcare can be stressful. Add in financial pressure, loss of identity, relationship strains, or parenting without a support network, and it’s easy to feel worn out.
While stress is a normal response to such big changes, if it becomes chronic, it can lead to burnout - deep exhaustion, detachment, and the sense that nothing you do makes a difference. Burnout can resemble anxiety or depression and may require professional support. Many people push through out of shame or the belief that they should be coping better. But what we really need when struggling to adapt is support, validation, and self-compassion. Prevention, after all, is far better than cure.
Newcomer advice often focuses on external strategies like networking, learning Danish, or job searching. While these are essential, understanding how your nervous system responds to change can help regulate stress, prevent exhaustion, and build resilience. Let’s explore how to blend practical steps with nervous system awareness for a smoother transition.
The nervous system loves the familiar
Our nervous system thrives on predictability - something a move abroad disrupts entirely. This lack of familiarity can cause emotional ups and downs. One week you feel hopeful; the next, you're questioning everything. This is a natural response. New experiences are interpreted as potential threats, activating the sympathetic nervous system - our fight-or-flight mode. Depending on your background, this can feel like excitement or intense anxiety. It’s not a personal failure; it’s biology.
Give yourself time to adjust. Recognising that you’re in a process of change reduces the pressure to feel “at home” right away. If you’re feeling wobbly or unsettled, try grounding techniques like noticing the sensation of your feet on the floor or slowly naming things around you. This “exploratory orientation” can stabilise your body and mind. Even quietly saying, “I’m here, now” can help.
Navigate the job search with nervous system awareness
Job hunting is inherently stressful and can activate different nervous system responses. You might freeze (procrastinate), flee (over-apply and compulsively tweak your CV), or fight (push too hard and burn out). Recognising these patterns as stress responses, not personal flaws can help you respond with compassion.
Pace yourself. Approach the job search like a marathon, taking small, consistent steps each day. Celebrate the small wins: sending an application, securing an interview. Balance your efforts with something restorative - meet a friend for coffee, visit a gallery, or go for a walk. After a stressful experience, shake out your arms and legs to discharge tension and reset your system.
"Our nervous system thrives on predictability - something a move abroad disrupts entirely. This lack of familiarity can cause emotional ups and downs. "
Cultivate a sense of belonging
One of the hardest parts of moving abroad is feeling like an outsider. Belonging isn’t only about people it’s also about places, routines, and sensory familiarity. Small acts like buying bread at the same bakery, walking your local streets, or listening to music from home can bring comfort and safety to your day-to-day life.
Find people who understand your experience. Expat groups, career support circles, and local meet-ups offer opportunities for connection. Co-regulation - spending time with calm, supportive people - helps settle your nervous system and fosters a sense of belonging.
Acknowledge the hard stuff without blaming yourself
Many people move abroad expecting adventure but end up facing exhaustion, loneliness, or anxiety. This doesn’t mean something is wrong with you - it means you’re human. The nervous system doesn’t distinguish between “good” or “bad” stress; it simply reacts to change.
Naming how you feel out loud - “This is really hard, and it’s okay that I feel lonely” can reduce emotional charge. Allowing yourself to experience the emotional rollercoaster, rather than resisting it, helps your body process stress more effectively. Offer yourself soothing touch, like placing your hands on your heart or gently stroking your arms. These signals of safety help calm your system when self-doubt creeps in.
Find support in people, places, and nature
Support doesn’t have to come only from people. Nature, movement, and sensory comfort all play key roles in nervous system regulation. A 10-minute walk in a park can significantly reduce anxiety and overwhelm. Mini rituals - your morning coffee, dancing in the kitchen, or admiring spring flowers - offer moments of joy and grounding.
Notice how different environments make you feel. Some places may feel more soothing than others. Creating familiarity in your surroundings helps your body feel safer and more supported.
Give yourself time
Creating a feeling of home in Denmark takes time and challenges your nervous system. But with self-compassion and body awareness, you can navigate the newness more smoothly. Instead of pushing through exhaustion, regulating stress, pacing yourself, and building small anchors of stability. The more you tune into your body, acknowledge your experience and meet your needs, the more resilient you’ll become.
If you’re struggling, remember: you’re not alone. Support is available, whether through people, movement, or nature. Asking for help is an act of care. Talk to your doctor if you’re concerned, but body-based therapies such as yoga, massage, or somatic coaching - are equally valid and helpful ways to support yourself before things reach a breaking point.