Photographs: Unsplash
Text: Ophelia Wu
Can you believe it’s 2023 already? How did this happen? I know - it is unbelievable how fast time flew by right in a blink of an eye. But, if anything that has been reaffirmed in the past few years, particularly during Covid times, it is that nothing in life ever goes as planned. So, for this January 2023, let’s not give a f*ck about resolutions and just go with the flow.
The art of not giving a f*ck
I know there are books out there explaining the art of not giving a f*ck - truth be told, I have never read them, but somehow, I have become quite a Master of it since a young age. I know that having a plan, resolution, and goal sets little milestones for success. However, it works for many, and it is very motivational. But let’s rewind to January 2020 - what was your plan? What was your resolution? Did any of that happen and fall into place when March arrived? My guess is that half of the people were unwillingly forced to put all their plans on hold.
Trust the process and go with the flow
Cliché? Yes. But what can you do when life works in mysterious ways? The art of not giving a f*ck is to let go of control of how things should be. It’s normal to want certainty, clarity, and security because who likes uninvited changes and disruptions? It’s not about doing nothing at all - you can still plan, set goals and work hard but leave some room and flexibility to let things work out their way. Allow space to be chaotic. Sometimes from where we are to where we want to be is not always a straight line - there might be some detours, pauses and redirection. But, eventually, we still get there, just not within the timeline we had carefully planned and plotted.
"While many might disagree, some things in life require specific planning and careful steps, but trusting the process and not giving a f*ck is accepting whatever it may be - it will eventually work out."
As long as we set the goal, have the clarity of what we truly want, let go and let the rest fall into place at its own divine timing. The tighter we hold onto how and when, and where we want things to happen, the bigger the resistance we’re creating for things to happen. We need to learn to trust the process and that everything will work out for the best, even if it doesn’t seem to be at that point, and just go with the flow. The ebb and flow of life are where we find gold. We might accidentally discover something new and stumble upon a new opportunity - who knows? This might be the exact stepping stone we need towards the next step.
It is difficult to fully trust life and hold on to faith. We are human beings, and we all want a sense of security. It feels safe to foresee and control the unfolding of things. Going with the flow is easier said than done - it is the continuity of being present.
While many might disagree, some things in life require specific planning and careful steps, but trusting the process and not giving a f*ck is accepting whatever it may be - it will eventually work out. It is the detachment of the results of things and the details you’ve planned thoroughly.
If anyone has ever tried creating a ceramic piece, you will know that many times, the result of what you had in mind when you set out to create can be different. It might take a couple of rounds or more to create the perfect result, and each round leads you to a slightly different shape and form. Even the masters won’t be able to create two exact same pieces with their meticulous skills. The journey matters - the excitement, fun, ups and downs are all part of the process, and we learn, grow, and mould from it.
So if we are to make a resolution for 2023, allow yourself to not give a f*ck and just be you. When you commit to living mindfully, you’re present in the moment. Your experience and your instinct will guide you towards the next step. So give it a go for a year and see how much you’ve transformed.