Finding belonging in winter

Inner work and connection for internationals.

Photographs: Pexels

Text: Fiona L Smith

Winters in Denmark can feel isolating, especially for those of us living far from home. Without the familiarity of places and people we know, it’s all too easy to feel alone or sad during the dark, colder days, especially if you’re at the start of your expat journey. So, how can we cultivate an inner sense of belonging and well-being to sustain us through winter and beyond?

It’s time to go inside

Winter forces us to spend longer indoors, so surrender to this and use the time to slow down and go in a little more. We often think of belonging as having external connections and friendships, but it begins with feeling at home in ourselves. Winter is the perfect time for the inner work that nurtures self-acceptance and connection.

• Practice self-compassion: Moving to a new country comes with both excitement and challenges. Meeting feelings of sadness or loneliness with kindness instead of self-criticism. Rather than giving yourself a hard time, allow a little space and time to acknowledge, feel and process these feelings. Journaling and writing affirmations like “I am enough, exactly as I am,” or “I’m a kind, loving person” can help develop self-compassion. Dancing or singing along to music that fits your mood helps to embody and process uncomfortable feelings.

• Reconnect with your values: Belonging grows when we live in alignment with what matters most. Light a candle, put on some music and reflect on your core values. Are you prioritising them in your daily life? If creativity is important to you, make time for a craft or artistic practice. If movement is key, find a club or class where you can play sports or dance. Connecting with what feels meaningful makes us more rooted in our identity, even when far from home.

• Explore somatic practices: Feeling disconnected from your body often mirrors a sense of social disconnection. Grounding practices like breathwork, yoga, or a mindful winter walk can help you feel more present, more ‘here’. When we feel at home in our body, it’s easier to feel at home in the world.

Bringing light into the darkness

Darkness in winter offers time for deeper reflection. Reframe this season as an opportunity to grow and nurture your inner world.

• Hygge as a practice of presence: Hygge is more than candles and blankets; it’s also a way to foster presence and connection. When sharing a meal with new friends or reading by the fire, tune into your body. What sensations are you aware of? Do you feel relaxation, warmth, or joy? Recognising these ‘glimmer’ moments and how our body feels offers us a resource we can return to and remember and builds our sense of belonging.

• Belonging in nature: Danish winters may be dark, but they’re also beautiful. Walks along an icy beach or through snow-covered forests remind us that belonging isn’t just about people it’s also about connection to the natural world.

"We often think of belonging as having external connections and friendships, but it begins with feeling at home in ourselves."

Staying connected to support

While building your new life, staying in touch with loved ones back home can ground you in a sense of continuity.

• Schedule regular check-ins and share your journey: Share your experiences with friends back home. Often, we don’t want to worry people, so we avoid sharing the full picture, but it’s important to talk about both highs and lows—it strengthens relationships and helps you process the transition.

• Ask for help if you need it: There’s no shame in needing extra support in navigating expat life. If you're struggling, seek professional help through your doctor, a private coach, or a therapist. Growth, empowerment, and connection often emerge from times of struggle or pain when we have the right support.

Redefine belonging: Embrace the spirit of community

Holidays can amplify homesickness but also offer chances to deepen connections. Denmark’s concept of fællesskab - a shared sense of community - provides a framework for belonging.

• Seek circles that feel like home: Look for groups that share your interests, whether it’s an expat network, a hobby club, or a professional network.

• Create your own traditions: Blend your own cultural traditions with Danish ones. For example, host a potluck evening with comfort foods from home alongside Danish treats like æbleskiver or gløgg. Dancing around the Christmas tree while singing songs from your country can be a fun way to merge traditions!

• Give and receive warmth: Volunteering at a local charity during the holidays is a lovely way to give others who might also feel left out or lonely a sense of belonging.

Focus on the journey, not the destination

Belonging isn’t something we stumble upon after a few years; it’s something we build - inside ourselves, in our relationships, and our surroundings. Denmark’s winter, with its quiet nights and emphasis on hygge and staying in, offers unique opportunities to explore what belonging really means.

Hopefully, this mix of inner work and intentional connection creates an embodied knowing that belonging isn’t tied to a place - it’s something we get to cultivate and carry with us, wherever we are.