How to behave and speak around a disabled person.
Text: Michaela Medveďová / Anna Pawlowicz Pics: Pexels
According to the World Health Organization, an estimated 1.6 billion people - or 16% of the world's population - live with a disability. By the number alone, it is clear that society is not unfamiliar with disability.
But besides ableism - or "prejudice and discrimination aimed at disabled people, often with a patronising desire to 'cure' their disability and make them 'normal'" - people with disabilities might be faced with the reality that their disability can make non-disabled people uncomfortable.
In this issue, we will dive into why this happens - and what tips or resources you can implement in your disability etiquette.
Why are non-disabled people uncomfortable around disability?
Research from 2014 showed that 67% of people feel uncomfortable talking to disabled people. Bascule Disability Training dove into the topic to discover the reason for these feelings of discomfort. Their respondents highlighted these main reasons:
35% believed it was fear of offending
18% believed they didn't know what to say
10% thought it was fear of patronising
38% thought it was a lack of experience communicating with people with disabilities
Building up your disability confidence
As most of the replies above suggest, when people are experiencing discomfort while talking to a person with a disability, it is not necessarily driven by prejudice or desire to discriminate - it likely often stems from a lack of experience or expertise.
However, you can always strive to challenge your attitudes and increase your own understanding of and skills around disability - in short, building your disability confidence by educating yourself about disability and the needs and preferences of the disabled community.
Getting your disability confidence to a new level can take time, but it's easier than you expect. We hope that this collection of practical tips will be a helpful starting point.
Here are the key points to consider in disability etiquette:
1. Treat a disabled person the way you'd like to be treated. Kindness, patience and
respect go a long way in every interaction, and this golden rule of politeness is
fundamental.
2. Communicate with a disabled person just as you would with a non-disabled person.
If an assistant or caretaker is present, you can still directly address the person with
a disability. Always assume that they can hear and understand every word you say.
3. Avoid unnecessary or personal comments like: 'Have you tried yoga?'. People with
disabilities are experts in their conditions, and you can be sure they've tried plenty
of options to ensure their well-being. Also, they've likely been asked about yoga at
least once that day.
4. Don't talk down to disabled people, regardless of whether they're a child or adult.
Presume competence and speak normally. It's surprising how often individuals with
disabilities complain about being talked to as if they were a baby.
5. Avoid touching any aids, like a wheelchair, cane, walker, etc. Disabled individuals
often refer to their mobility aids as extensions of their bodies. Touching the aids feels
like trespassing on their personal space.
6. Don't touch or pet service animals. A service dog may indeed be the gentlest dog
you've seen in a while, but they're likely performing their job, and your interaction
may distract them from providing support to the disabled individual.
7. Don't try to help a disabled person without asking first. Everyone values their
independence, and that includes people with disabilities. They're experts in
navigating the world and in most cases, they will ask for help if they need it.
8. If you're passing a disabled person on the street, look at them as you would look at
any other person. Don't stare, but also don't make a point of looking away.
Individuals with disabilities tend to agree that looking away hurts more than staring.
9. Don't use accessible amenities if you do not need them. If you live with a disability,
planning any outing takes a lot of time – finding an accessible parking or toilet can be
difficult. If non-disabled people use these amenities, disabled individuals may be
stranded. Additionally, remember that 80% of disabilities are invisible, and despite
their 'typical' looks, they are fully entitled to using accessible toilets and parking
spaces.
These nine points are the foundation of disability etiquette. If you'd like to learn more, we highly recommend the book 'Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally' by American author and disability activist Emily Ladau. It's a wonderful resource that's helped many non-disabled individuals realise that disability isn't something we should be scared of. It's a normal part of the human experience.
At The International, we fully agree that the change in the perception of disability in our society can only come if each of us becomes an active ally. We encourage you to explore Disability Pride events in international communities, and if you have any questions about this topic, please contact us at The International at lyndsay@the-intl.com
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